areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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