She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
