Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
