There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize