That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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