It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
