you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
