brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
