literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
