I'd wear matching sweaters with you
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
