bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Say something about gay babies.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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