I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
