i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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