***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
