weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
