i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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