I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
