It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
