Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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