My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
