Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
