So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
