Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
