After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
