this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
