this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
