Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
