i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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