Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
