I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
