Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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