Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
