Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
