Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
