There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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