We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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