this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
