What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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