Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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