and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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