Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
