She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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