hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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