doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
