She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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