it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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