Yo dont text me then not text me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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