I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
