Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
