could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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