it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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