dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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