Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
