I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
