love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you would pick up someone in the library
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
