You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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