it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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