Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Randomize
