those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
