There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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