I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
