How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
