He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
